A life remote-control is on my Christmas list. I want pause, rewind, and power off. Fast forward is one I seem to have achieved already, though; states where time has mysteriously been deleted from reality. If you’re reading, maybe you’ve gone through it, too. Specifically, with a plate of delicious food.

For those of us that are, ahem, people that love to eat, sometimes we fantasize over the perfect plate of food for hours. During a day of drudgery, where everything has gone wrong, where you’re tired and the insides of your shoes hurt and you can’t curl your toes because it hurts too much, that delicious meal is the only thing you have to look forward to. You dream lust after it. It’s going to be so amazing. I can’t even pay attention right now because all I can think of is my delicious soup, my avocado with bacon and garlic powder and salmon, my fruit with nut butter. Sometimes, you wait months for a specific food. I can have ice cream on X day, because I’m a good person and I deserve it. I’ve abstained from chocolate for X amount of months so I can have it now. We’ve spent this time consumed with longing.

And then the food arrives. And before we know it, it’s disappeared.

As if a thief monster ran away with it singing “nannynannybooboo”. Like someone has literally edited this life and cut out our current reason for living. All of that anticipation, all of that waiting, for nothing.

Can we pause for a second here and see what’s actually going on? When food disappears from your plate, you’re not actually present while you eat it. You have left yourself. Despite the fact that you’ve been hypnotized by its fantasy. Can we see how that’s different than the pristine picture we’ve mustered in our heads? How it doesn’t really make sense? Sometimes, when we eat ravenously like that, we have a bite in our mouth as we’re simultaneously prodding our fork or spoon around for the next one. Like we’re playing hungry hungry hippos, obsessing about getting the next bite, and the next bite, and the next one, that we never actually pay attention to the CURRENT one. It’s a loop. We just want the next moment, because maybe it’ll be better than this one, more perfect, the absolute best, perhaps it’ll be what I’ve been searching and waiting for. Finally.

Then, it’s gone.

And disappointment is left in its wake. This thing we’ve been waiting for as the answer to our prayers, as the amazingness of our day, has vanished. Devoured, enraptured by fantasy, and gone.

The metaphor for this as life isn’t lost on me. We’re never satisfied. We always want better, more, harder, faster. We can’t be here now with what’s in front of us. With our partner as they’re trying to show us something that we asked for. With our parents as they age. With someone who doesn’t understand what you’re talking about. With the flowers and the trees that sit outside of your window, waiting for you to take them in. We picture something we want, and when we get it, we’re still empty. The fantasy of the other thing, the greener grass, is always better than our own.

Instead, what can we do? We can BE WITH THE BITE. Like literally, construct your fork or spoon to make the perfect bite, with each of the foods that your plate contains and all of the seasonings and dressings and whatever you want, and then makeout with that bite. BE THERE. Don’t leave it. Don’t go searching for another one. It’s not gonna be better. What’s best is what’s here. Right now. I mean chew that bite like forty times. Slowly. Take it in, and feel it all, taste it all.

Put your fork down if you need to, but you don’t have to. A lot of intuitive eating experts say that you mandatorily must put your fork down between bites, but I prefer a more natural approach, and if I want to hold onto my fork, let me.

Once you’re done with that bite, construct the next one, and continue doing the practice until you feel satisfied. Because this is a practice. If you’re used to eating fast, the first few times are going to seem weird because that voice that tells you to eat voraciously and not pay attention will still be there. It’ll still be like “speed it up, slow poke, we have flavors to taste” but again, it lies. You have nowhere to go, no where to be, no where better, but here.

You’ll soon feel much more calm around food and perhaps realize that you can rescind your membership to the clean your plate club, just because you are right there with the bite.

When you’re one with the bite, and one with life, not trying to reach for more, for better, for something other than what’s here right now, you can finally touch what’s actually real and not want anything else.

So again, to sum up.

1. Serve yourself what you really want.
2. SIT DOWN.
3. Breathe, pause for a second.
4. Construct your bites exactly how you want them.
5. Chew, and BE WITH IT. Don’t go rushing for the next one, for better, for something other than what’s here.
6. Surprise yourself when you leave food on your plate, because what’s here is enough.