Maya Angelou died last week. I’m sure you know.

She was a writer, poet, and straight up inspiration. You know that, too. You might not know she was also a great cook. She was. She knew what was up. Last week, social media was flooded with her quotes, each instantly life-altering at some point in my life. But something she said posthumously hit me the hardest.

Words are things.

It hasn’t left my mind.

It’s been stirring in my brain; it answered the question I am (and I think we all are) confronted with daily: why do I feel the way I feel? I feel different if I write or not on a particular day or say what I am feeling out loud. Sometimes, it’s to someone else and sometimes it’s to myself. Yeah, not ashamed to say I talk to myself. If you say you don’t you’re a liar. Words. are. things. They are fierce, palpable, tangible objects that we choose to bring out into the world or keep inside. Each holds the power to damage or uplift us. Words carry certain energies; if we don’t express them they fester inside of us like some sort of word cancer.

If I’m feeling lost or confused, I write it down. Most of the time, it’s total nonsense and fear-based. Sometimes I illustrate to make a visual representation of the circus of what’s happening inside my body and brain. Getting it out there in whatever way I can helps me make sense of it all. It allows me to realize that I am not going to die from to-do list overload, and I feel instant release. It’s catharsis. My worries, anxieties, failures, doubts, have been ameliorated. Not gone, but they’re softer. They’re on paper. It’s not that simple, but that’s the gist of it.

Reading the written word is interesting. It’s crazy how words strung together can instantly make your heart soar, illicit profound change in your life, or even make you cry.

Same thing goes for the spoken word. Don’t you feel instantly assaulted when an energy vampire is speaking to you? As if that person was blowing bad word bubbles into the air, except they don’t pop, they plunge straight into our clean auras as if we’re living in a cartoon? You can feel them seeping into your soul and behind your eyes. I don’t need that negativity in my life. When good words are spoken to you, it’s like they’re fuzzy hands that nuzzle at your sides, neck, and heart. Also behind your head. We become the energy words carry.

We must err on the side of caution, though, with what we choose to say. I don’t really have a filter, but I hold back A LOT of what I want to say. I mean, I need to seem like a professional and nice human throughout the day and there are a lot of spiritually unconscious (total euphemism) people in the world. If it’s that important to me, paper or a blank google doc are great vehicles for releasing that energy. Sometimes, what we need to say is crucial to relationships, even if we don’t want to or it’s gonna suck when we do. Be real. Also choose to say I love you or other nice things and truthful compliments, every day, to people around you. It matters and these small decisions are someone else’s fuzzy hands and feelings on their bodies and hearts. Simple effort, big reward.

On the storytelling front, I know that inside of me live experiences and knowledge and content to teach and share and write, and mostly it’s fear that is keeping me from doing so in the way I know I need to. I haven’t written consistently for the past year and a half, and I feel like a pressure cooker. Writing is cleansing. It shows you what you feel and helps you make sense of this crazy and totally insane world.

I’ve been suffering from this as I haven’t shared this dead-simple recipe with you. It is the epitome of broadcasting one ingredient, in this case my vegetable love, CAULIFLOWER. It glows in all of it’s tasty forms, in the limelight, on your plate, and in your stomach. This is one of the first dishes I made for my clients, when I was first getting my toes wet with cooking professionally, and it is not hard at all. It’s simply the revolutionary technique that the chef, Dan Barber, uses to let cauliflower be its bad, complementary self. The puree is silk, and the cauliflower steak is crispy and hearty.

Make it. Express yourself this way. Say what you’re scared to say and what you mean, as long as it’s nice…or…nice-ish.

Cauliflower steaks with cauliflower puree

Recipe from Dan Barber via Food52

Serves 2 as a side or first course

Note: Double or triple or quadruple this recipe easily by just doing some math.

Get

One 1 1/2-pound head of cauliflower

1 1/2 cups water

1 cup almond milk (or whole milk if you do dairy)

2 tablespoons vegetable oil plus more for brushing

Salt and freshly ground pepper

Do

Set oven at 350 degrees F. Using a sharp heavy knife and starting at top center of cauliflower head, cut through the stem end (right through, dead center) and cut two 1-inch-thick slices of cauliflower, cutting through stem end. Set cauliflower steaks aside.

Cut off the florets from what remains of the cauliflower head; you should should have about 3 cups. In a medium saucepan, combine florets, water, and milk, and season well with salt and pepper. Bring to boil, and cook until cauliflower florets are very tender, about 10 minutes. Strain, reserving 1 cup of the cooking liquid.

Using an immersion blender, blend the cauliflower florets to a puree (alternatively, you can use a normal blender, but I like less mess). Add half of the reserved 1 cup cooking liquid and puree again until smooth. Add more of the liquid if desired, and puree again. Return puree to same saucepan.

In a heavy large ovenproof skillet heat 2 tablespoons tablespoons ghee over high heat. Brush cauliflower steaks with ghee and sprinkle them with salt and pepper. Add cauliflower steaks to the skillet and cook until golden brown, about 2 minutes per side. DO NOT MOVE THEM OR THEY WILL NOT BROWN. This needs to be yelled. Transfer the skillet to then oven and bake cauliflower steaks until tender, about 10 minutes.

Rewarm cauliflower puree over medium heat. Divide puree between 2 plates; top each one with cauliflower steak.