From time to time, I do detrimental things completely aware of their unfavorable end result. In the moment right before the action is committed, there’s a shiny glimmer of hope that maybe, this ONE time out of a million, things will not end up the way I think they will. Even though they always do. What the hell, brain? Why am I always surprised at the unhappy ending? And why do I continue to do these things?

I steer clear from sugar for a week. I am feeling ah-mazing, energized, and like a million doves inhabit my chest at all times, floating me from action to action. My brain and body are light as a feather, windex can’t even improve my clarity. Then one day night-time rolls around, and I’m kind of bored. Dark chocolate is blowing up my phone, calling my name. I tell myself I’ll have just one square of dark chocolate. Just this one tiny square of dark chocolate. Right after dinner. I’m not even hungry. I justify it in my brain: But it’s so small! Dark chocolate is good for me! Hello, antioxidants galore! Just one square! Just one bite! Nope. Never. That bite turns into the whole bar and I’m pissed. At myself. Because I got tricked, not by another person but by my own brain. And now I am one dark chocolate bar over my fullness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I dispell a toxic person from my life with the force of one hundred suns and I’m so proud of myself. Man, I’m so freaking strong! No one can come and knock over this Mount Everest because I am a woman made of ivory who doesn’t lose focus for a-n-y-b-o-d-y. No one can mess with this or my strong woman playlist…..oh wait, was that noise a text? Oh, you miss me? You’re kind of dumb. Oh, you’d like to see me now? Weeeeeell, okay, twist my arm, just this once. It’s the last time, guys. Maybe I need to hear this in person. Nope. Never. Again. Tricked by not only my own brain but by ANOTHER person’s stupid one. Who’s dumb now?

I cannot handle alcohol the way I used to, and now it only takes a half glass of wine to get me drunk. My friends invite me to go out. I say no, I’m not drinking. Just don’t drink, they say! Well, fine then! They’re all drinking. Those young stomachs are unaffected, well then mine is, too! Also, the circumstances of the Miami bar scene make drinking necessary. So just one drink. I’ll do one! Well, now I’ve doubled my measly limit and all judgement is out the window. Who am I, the female version of Frank the Tank? I’ve been duped by my own brain, three friends, and two sips of wine.

Sheesh! What’s up with this foolishness? Fortunately, this is part of being human. Everyone I know experiences the aforementioned in some shade or color. I love laughing about it, too, because it’s so ridiculous and foibles of humanity are meant to be shared. But, when I make a meal for someone that doesn’t like spicy food that is literally titled “SUPER SPICY carrot & chickpeas”, I don’t think it’s going to be spicy because yum, there’s so much cumin! Yum, there’s super delicious and sweet chickpeas and carrots, basically flavor maskers! There’s no way it’s going to be spicy. But then my spicy tolerant palate takes a bite of this, and coughs. A lot. Other people taste and say YUM (COUGH) It’s so good! (Cough) Man, this is so good, but it’s kind of spicy. Did you know it was going to be spicy? Yes, yes, I did. I’m sorry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pay attention. Make your brain aware of the outcome before you make your move. There is a space that exists in life between stimulus and response and you know what? We are allowed to choose. That’s what makes us grow. It’s a muscle, and the more it’s worked, the more susceptible we are to make the better choice. Because the more we act without thinking, the more we get burned. Literally.

Super spicy carrot & chickpea tagine

Serves 4

Note: A tagine is a Moroccan clay cooking vessel that’s in the shape of a cone. Luckily, it’s not necessary to make tagines. They’re easily made on the stovetop. Tagines are always the consistency of delicious stews.

Ingredients

3-4 tablespoons olive oil

1 onion, finely chopped

4 garlic cloves, finely chopped

2 teaspoons ground turmeric

2 teaspoon cumin seeds

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

½ teaspoon cayenne pepper, more or less to taste

½ teaspoon ground black pepper

1 tablespoon honey

4 medium carrots, peeled and sliced on the diagonal

2 14-ounce cans chickpeas, thoroughly rinsed and drained

Sea salt

1-2 tablespoons rosewater, optional (I didn’t use — I hate rosewater)

a bunch of cilantro leaves, finely chopped

1 lemon, cut into wedges, to serve

Thick, full fat, plain Greek yogurt, to serve

Directions

In a tagine or large heavy bottomed pan, add the onion and garlic, and saute until soft. Add the turmeric, cumin, cinnamon, cayenne, black pepper, honey, and carrots. Pour in enough water to cover the contents of the pan and cover. Cook gently for 10-15 minutes.

Toss in the chickpeas, and check that there’s still enough liquid at the base of the pan. Cover and cook for another 5-10 minutes, until the carrots are soft but not mushy. Season with salt, sprinkle with the rosewater (if using) and cilantro leaves over the top. Serve with lemon wedges and yogurt.