Dessert lovers oppose each other. On one side of the boxing ring, we have people who prefer fruit. On the other, people who prefer chocolate. Unfortunately, desserts with fruit as the star get lost on me. I’d die happy with towering pieces of cake with cream cheese frosting or anything with chocolate beside me. Additionally, there’s a million recipes and variations for how to handle fruit desserts, desserts that attempt to take something the earth provided us with that is perfection on its own, ie a good Honeycrisp apple, and transform it into something indulgent. Sometimes it’s not necessary. But sometimes I guess we’re in the mood for a little butter, a little more sugar, a little heat, and a little crisp action.

But does the perfect apple crisp recipe exist? And if it does, how do we go about searching for it? And then choosing?! With the mountains of recipes out there, including fulanito who says their Grandma’s apple crisp is the best, along with every single cookbook/blog/magazine/person offering their own variation, how do we not get overwhelmed? It’s like in life, where we search and search and search and search for something else outside of us for fulfillment, something out of the ordinary that we think just have to have or need because we believe we are lacking if we stand on our own. But with the crisp, what sort of gimmick or trick was I looking for? A spice from the heavens? More butter than God intended humans to have? Flour that is actually fairy dust? Apples from the Garden of Eden? I honestly don’t know. But satisfaction eluded me with any of the apple recipes I found, admittedly just by glancing at their mundane ingredients.

But then I happened to stumble upon the food writing world of Nigel Slater, hearing through the grapevine that his cookbook Ripe boasted good, wholesome recipes. And like the smell of bread (or scones?) baking from the oven, Slater lured me in. Reading Nigel Slater’s books is like being hypnotized into a world where you’re right there with him, and he’s your matter-of-fact, no-nonsense, close to the earth, food loving, British and sweet best friend. I thought I was getting a cookbook in which I’d quickly glance at the blurbs and hound the recipes, but instead I felt compulsed to read every word and sentence that Slater had taken his time thinking of and constructing. All descriptions, all chapters, all everything. For some reason this man gained my trust. And when I saw his recipe for apple crisp that had just a handful of ingredients, I took that trust to another level, and got to peeling apples.

And he made me realize that when you take only what you have and you use it to fulfill an ultimate dream, in this case, apple crisp, the results are astounding. Time is taken to respect and caramelize the apples with a bit of butter and brown sugar, paying careful attention to let them become what is pretty much apple toffee. Then we top this sticky icky apple filling that Snoop Dogg would approve of with the simplest mix of butter and flour. It was the only crisp I’ve ever made and the best one I’ve ever eaten. It was inhaled by four people, four food-loving people with hard to please palates. In addition to softening my aversion to baked fruit, this taught me that when we use our own self-ingredients correctly, properly, smartly, respectfully, and we take our time and we’re kind to ourselves, it just works. And you’ll realize that in order to be your best human self and to succeed and find your happiness in your own way, all you need is already contained within you.

Apple & blackberry crisp

Adapted from Ripe by Nigel Slater

Notes: Slater claims this is a crumble, but I like to think of it as a crisp because, well, it is in fact pretty crispy and it’s just what I’m used to.

He also opened me up to the marriage of blackberries & apples together, which I thought was weird. You might think it’s weird too, until you add them to your crisp and fall doubly in love.

Granny smith or honey crisp apples would be good for this, or another baking apple of your choice.

When Slate suggests to not move the apples as they caramelize, listen. My finicky fingers wanted to, but not letting them move to much is an imperative step in getting that wonderful toffee flavor.

I’ve decided not to change Slater’s language in this recipe because I think he’s so incredibly charming.

Ingredients

For the filling

2 pounds cooking apples, about 3 medium

Juice of 1/2 lemon

1/3 cup brown sugar

2 tablespoons (1/4 stick) butter

1 cup blackberries, optional

For the crisp

6 tablespoons (3/4 stick) butter

2/3 cup gluten-free all-purpose flour

1/4 cup brown sugar

Directions

“Peel and core the apples, cut them into plump chunks (about 3/4-inch on each side), and toss them with the juice of the lemon half and the brown sugar.

Melt the butter in a shallow pan over frisky heat. When it starts to sizzle, tip in the apples and sugar and let the fruit color lightly. It is essential not to move the apples around too much. Let the sugar caramelize here and there, so the fruit is golden in patches. There should be a faint smell of toffee. Stir them gently.

Lift the apples out and put them into a baking dish, about 6 cups in capacity, together with the pan juices. If there are any sticky bits in the pan, add a dash of lemon juice or water and stir until they dissolve. Tip among the apples. (Add the blackberries on top here, if using.) Set the oven at 350 degrees F.

Make the crisp portion by rubbing the butter into the flour with your fingertips (you could happily use a food processor here). When the mixture looks like fine breadcrumbs, stir in the sugar. Add a tablespoon of ice water, shake the crisp mixture until some of it sticks together in gravel-sized lumps, then tip it over the apple. Bake for forty five to fifty minutes, until lightly colored.”

Serve warm & with ice cream.

Directions